my life, my love
by RainyDayReading
Summary: In the aftermath of the war, Ginny and Pansy put themselves back together in the only way they know how. :: A superhero!AU and voldemort wins!AU written for various challenges on different forums.


**my life, my love**

* * *

 _A/N: Prompts will be included at the end, so as not to spoil anything :)_

* * *

Pansy had been gone for far too long.

Ginny paced back and forth across the dark living room, stomach knotted painfully. Her eyes kept darting to the clock hanging from the white wall, illuminated by the watery light of passing cars outside the windows.

She had been gone for almost seven hours.

 _Seven hours._ It was already nearly one in the morning.

 _She'll be back any minute now,_ Ginny assured herself.

It sounded like a lie even to her own ears.

There was a sudden thump from upstairs, and Ginny's spine stiffened, snapping her out of her thoughts. She slid her wand out of the back pocket of her jeans and crossed the small living room, barely able to see through the darkness as she made her way over to the wooden staircase at the other end of the room.

Holding her wand at the ready, Ginny slunk up the steps, her socks making no sound at all on the floorboards.

When she reached the top landing, she peered through the open doorway and into the bedroom she and Pansy shared. The lights were off, but Ginny could see the starry night sky through the open window on the far side of the bedroom wall.

 _The window was open._

The window had not been open before.

A string of painful and brutal hexes ran through Ginny's mind, ready for her to use the moment she was threatened.

The only light in the bedroom came from the moonlight that glinted through the window. And in the shadows…

Ginny sucked in a breath as she spotted a silhouette moving around near the small wardrobe in the corner.

Her eyes narrowed, pulse picking up speed in that way it always did right before she was about to fight.

Just as Ginny opened her mouth, the figure stepped into the doorway.

It was Pansy, still clad in her ebony black bodysuit and her knee-high boots. Her dark hair was loose around her shoulders, and her dark masquerade-type mask concealed most of her face from view.

Her lips curled upwards in a smirk, pointedly glancing at the wand Ginny brandished. "I come home and _this_ is the welcome I get?"

All the air rushed out of Ginny's lungs in one huge, exhausted breath as she practically threw herself into her girlfriend's arms.

"You're back," she whispered, wrapping her own arms tightly around Pansy's shoulders. "I- I thought- I was afraid-"

She grit her teeth and squeezed her eyes shut. She hated when Pansy went on those awful missions; it left her feeling weak and vulnerable and exposed and _afraid_ , more afraid than she had ever been in her life.

"Hey," Pansy said softly, her voice losing all of its teasing drawl. "I wouldn't leave you. You know that, right?"

"Right," Ginny repeated, pulling away. She swallowed hard, trying to slow her breathing down while brushing a lock of her flame-red hair out of her eyes. "Right."

 **X**

 _"Ron?" Ginny screamed, stumbling through the torrential downpour of rain. Her soaked robes clung to her skin, and she squinted through the gray haze. All around her, green light flashed as more and more of her friends fell to the ground._

 _Ginny tripped over something in the wet grass, and she stumbled. Her face hit the mud. The moisture sliding down her cheeks felt too much like blood._

 _Pulling herself upright and still clutching her wand tightly in one hand, Ginny caught sight of the body she had fallen over, face-down in the dirt._

 _Nausea made her dizzy when she caught sight of the shock of red hair plastered to the dead man's forehead._

 _She knew who it was, but even so, she slowly stretched out a hand and turned the body over._

 _A pair of glassy, lifeless blue eyes stared up at her._

 _Ginny turned and vomited into the grass, the whole world spinning around her. Ron was dead._

 _Now she truly had no one._

 _The booming noise of the raging battle around her quieted. It was all over now._

 _The Death Eaters would kill them all._

 **X**

Ginny woke up screaming, limbs flailing in the darkness. The space around her was pitch-black- where _was_ she?

And then a pair of arms wrapped around her own, pinning her wrists to her sides in a tight hug.

"Ginny," a low voice whispered into her ear, "it's me. Pansy. You're safe. It was just a dream."

Ginny stilled, heart still racing. She tasted salt on her lips, and it was only then that she realized she had been crying.

Pansy released her, and Ginny groped around the bedside table, fingers closing around her wand.

 _"Lumos,"_ she whispered, sitting up.

The tip of the wand began to glow, lighting up the bedroom and casting shadows on the dresser and wardrobe in the corner. Pansy was sitting up beside her, dark hair mussed with black circles under her eyes. Ginny immediately felt guilty for waking her up.

"I'm fine," Ginny managed, but her voice cracked unconvincingly.

Pansy gave her a look. "You can't sleep," she corrected Ginny matter-of-factly.

Ginny hiccuped softly and looked down at the comforter bunched in her lap. Her eyes burned with more unshed tears, but she blinked them away.

"Hey," Pansy said quietly. "To be honest, I'm not surprised. You've witnessed more horrors than anybody I know. It's not your fault."

Ginny released a shuddering sigh. "I hate when I feel like this," she admitted quietly. "It… it all comes back to me at night, you know?"

Pansy nodded. "You're going to be okay," she promised softly. "Recovery takes time."

"How do you deal with it?" Ginny asked.

Pansy was silent for a moment. Then she spoke. "I… I killed many people during that war, when I was still with the Death Eaters. And I tried to tell myself I was fine with that. But I wasn't. And when Voldemort won the war and my mother told me that the next step was committing a Muggle genocide, I just… I _couldn't_. But… it's better now." She offered Ginny a small smile. "I have _you_ now. And in the Muggle news, I'm a _superhero_. Knowing that my magic can be used for good, and that I'm at least a hero to _some_ people makes me feel a little better, you know?"

Ginny smiled back, albeit sadly. "You _are_ a hero, Pans. You've changed."

Pansy sighed. "I'm glad," she murmured. Then her dark eyes fixed once again on Ginny. "Do you want to watch a movie or something? We don't have to go back to sleep if you don't want to."

Ginny felt a warmth bloom inside her chest at Pansy's worried expression. "I'll be fine. You should sleep."

Pansy pouted sullenly. "I'm not tired. I want to be with you."

That coaxed a laugh out of Ginny. "Do you want to sit on the roof, maybe?" she suggested.

Pansy visibly brightened. "Sure! I'll get the blankets."

"And I'll get the pillows," Ginny said, sliding out of bed and snatching two pillows off the bedspread.

As Pansy plucked crumpled blankets off the mattress, Ginny made her way over to the bedroom window. She slid open the glass pane, and a gust of cool wind swept against her face. She closed her eyes, enjoying the smell of summer night. The outdoors had always helped her chase away the lingering memories of war, and Pansy was always more than happy to keep her company.

"Ready?" Pansy's voice came from her right, and Ginny opened her eyes.

She nodded, and passed the pillows to Pansy while she clambered out the window. The bedroom window was located right above the small, flat roof of their garage, making it a perfect place to sit.

The roofing tiles were cool under Ginny's bare feet, and once she was sure she was balanced, she turned back to Pansy, who passed her the blankets and pillows through the open window.

Ginny fluffed out the blankets and spread them across the shingled roof while Pansy climbed through the window to meet her. Together, they lay down across the roof and rested their head on the downy pillows, covering themselves with the blankets.

Now, with nothing but an endless expanse of stars above her and Pansy pressed against her side, Ginny was finally able to relax.

Even with the nighttime breeze, it was warm beneath the blankets, and Pansy was practically radiating heat.

"Feeling better?" Pansy asked.

"Much," Ginny replied, still gazing at the sky. With all the stars glimmering against the midnight blue, it looked as if somebody had spilled sugar crystals across a dark tablecloth. The thought made her smile.

"Look at them," Pansy said suddenly, "all those stars. More than a thousand miles away, but we still see their light in the darkness. It's remarkable, isn't it?"

"Yes," Ginny whispered, eyes fluttering closed as exhaustion washed over her. "It is."

 **X**

When Ginny woke up, sunlight was streaming through the glass of the bedroom window, and she was curled up in the large, comfortable bed. She yawned and rolled over, blindly reaching for Pansy, but frowned when her hand met only empty sheets.

Blinking fully awake, Ginny sat up and looked around. The bedroom was empty- that meant Pansy had woken up early, carried Ginny inside from the roof, and left for some mission.

Ginny sighed, rolling back her shoulders. When was the last time she and Pansy had eaten _breakfast_ together? Even though she loved that her girlfriend was saving people, she had to admit- she missed her.

Ginny ran a hand through her frizzy red hair. Just then, she caught sight of a scribbled note sitting on her bedside table.

She picked it up and read the looping handwriting.

 _Gin,_

 _Had to go out. I'm sorry. Don't worry about me, I'll be back in time for dinner._

 _XOXO_

 _Pansy_

Sighing, Ginny glanced to the dresser at the side of the bedroom, where Pansy's all-black outfit was usually laid out. Sure enough, it was gone.

She placed the note back down on the bedside table and slid out of bed. Her legs, clad only in her pajama shorts, immediately pricked with goosebumps.

Ginny made her way over to the dresser. She'd brush her hair, get dressed, have breakfast, go for her morning run in the park, maybe do some shopping… and by the time she was done, Pansy would be back and they would have dinner together.

Ginny smiled in satisfaction. She had a plan for the day, and Pansy would be back for dinner, and she would be okay, and everything was going to be just fine.

 **X**

It was eight o'clock. Dinner time was at seven.

Pansy wasn't back.

The knot in Ginny's stomach was getting tighter and tighter as she watched the clock.

"Two more minutes," Ginny murmured. "I'll give her two more minutes."

With each tick of the second-hand, Ginny's anxiety grew.

She perched on the edge of the couch, tucking her knees up to her chest.

Eight-thirty flew by.

Then nine.

Ginny thought about calling the police, but she knew she couldn't. It would ruin Pansy's hidden identity, and since both she and Ginny were hiding away in the Muggle world, on the run from Death Eaters…

No. The police were not an option.

 _Ten o'clock._

One of the lightbulbs in the ceiling flickered out, leaving the living room only half-lit.

 _I'll change it later,_ Ginny promised herself, eyes still fixed on the clock.

God, she was going to puke. Anxiety and nerves crashed down on her in waves, and she grit her teeth. Every time she blinked, the memory of green light flashed behind her eyelids.

 _Eleven_.

And then there was a thump coming from upstairs.

Ginny launched herself off the couch and raced up the staircase, whipping her wand out of the pocket of her fleece sweater as she did so- just in case.

She entered the pitch-black bedroom, hand finding the light-switch on the wall, and she flicked it on-

And nearly screamed in horror.

Right beneath the window, lying in a steadily growing pile of blood, was the crumpled body of Pansy Parkinson.

Ginny was frozen to her spot, staring. The blood on the ground… the fallen body…

"Pansy?" she choked out, her voice shrill.

Pansy stirred slightly on the wooden floorboards, lifting her head. Her mask was peeling off her face. "Ginny?" she slurred.

Her girlfriend's voice snapped Ginny out of her horrified trance, and she rushed forward.

She knelt by Pansy's side and carefully pulled the mask fully off her face, discarding it on the floor.

"What _happened_?" Ginny whispered, her heart physically aching at seeing Pansy in this much pain.

"Nothing too bad," Pansy mumbled, eyes fluttering. "Got… stabbed in the leg. Did you know that Death Eaters sometimes fight with knives? I didn't know that…"

Her eyes fluttered.

" _Hey_ ," Ginny said loudly, shaking Pansy's shoulder. "Stay awake. Which leg?"

"Left."

Ginny glanced down at Pansy's left leg, which was mostly concealed by her leather boot. Tugging the shoe off in one motion, Ginny flinched. There was a hole torn into Pansy's calf, visible even through the dark layer of clothing she was wearing.

"Merlin," Ginny whispered, inspecting the wound. She ghosted her fingers around the area, blood coating her fingertips, and Pansy tensed.

"Don't you know it's not polite to look at a lady's legs?" Pansy snickered drowsily.

"How can you even make _jokes_ in a situation like this?" Ginny cried, angrily smacking Pansy on the shoulder, then instantly regretting it.

"D'you know any healing spells?" Pansy asked. By the way she was glaring intently at a spot on the ceiling, Ginny could tell she was struggling to stay conscious.

"I know a couple," Ginny replied, keeping her voice steady. "Just… breathe, okay, Pans? And stay awake."

Ginny picked up her wand from where she had dropped it on the floor, struggling to keep her hand from shaking. She pointed it at Pansy's leg. _"Vulnera Sanentur."_

For a moment, nothing happened.

And then, to her relief, the gash began to slowly stitch itself closed.

"I'm tired," Pansy mumbled.

Ginny sighed, tension draining from her shoulders. "Go to sleep. It'll all be better in the morning."

"Love you," Pansy breathed out, so softly Ginny barely heard it, before falling asleep.

Ginny looked down at her sadly, tears prickling at the edges of her eyes. "Love you too."

 **X**

Ginny was standing over the stove, frying bacon, when she heard a voice from behind her.

"Good morning," Pansy said tentatively.

Instead of turning around, Ginny focused on the frying pan on her grip.

"Are you… mad at me?" Pansy asked hesitantly.

Ginny sighed, turning off the fire and turning around. Pansy stood in the doorway of the kitchen, wearing a clean white t-shirt and a pair of leggings. A few smudges of dried blood clung to her cheekbones, and her hair was unruly around her shoulders, but other than that, she seemed fine.

"How's your leg?" Ginny asked instead of replying.

Pansy shrugged. "Fine. I mean, still kind of shaky, but it doesn't hurt anymore." She met Ginny's eyes. "Thank you."

"I'm not mad at you," Ginny said.

Pansy's eyes widened in surprise. "You're not?"

"No," Ginny said with an innocent smile, "because the next time you decide to go out saving Muggles from Death Eaters, I'm coming with you."

There was a beat of silence.

"No," Pansy said flatly.

Ginny blinked at the blatant rejection, but didn't back down. "Yes."

 _"No,"_ Pansy repeated, more firmly this time. "You're not coming. I won't let you."

Ginny's eyes narrowed. "You _will_ let me," she repeated. "It's not your choice."

"No."

Ginny's temper flared, anger surging through her veins. _"Yes!"_ she repeated. "I'm coming with you, because you came home last night and I had to watch as you lay unconscious in a pool of your own _blood_ , Pansy! And every single time you go out, I'm left _stuck_ here, pacing around _pathetically_ , and I'm always waiting and waiting to see if you'll come back _alive_ -"

"Oh, stop _complaining_ , will you?" Pansy retorted, cutting her off. She gestured down to herself. "No one _died_! I'm still here!"

"Don't you _understand_?" Ginny shouted, tears brimming in her eyes. "I… I need to be _helping_ people. That war took everyone I loved away from me. I lost everything- Mum, Dad, Ron, Fred, George, Bill, Charlie, Harry, Hermione…" With each name she lifted, more and more bitterness filled her voice. "Their faces haunt me every time I close my eyes. But if I do this with you, we'll be saving people- _together_. And I- I need to _fight_. I can't just be sitting here and hoping that you'll live another day."

Pansy sighed heavily. "But…" she whispered softly, her voice trembling slightly, "what if… what if I _lose_ you?"

All the anger drained out of Ginny's blood, leaving her just as exhausted as Pansy. "You won't," she said quietly. "We'll be _together_. But even if you don't support me in this… I have to do it, Pans. It's _my_ life, and I need to do something worthwhile with it."

Pansy looked back up at her and took a small step forward. "Together, then."

Ginny was taken aback. "Wait- really?"

Pansy nodded and gave a light shrug. "After all," she said, voice taking on its usual teasing drawl, "every superhero needs a sidekick, right?"

Ginny couldn't help the relieved grin that split her face. "Who says _I'm_ the sidekick?" she retorted. " _You'd_ be the sidekick."

"But you haven't even started hero-ing yet!"

"I know I'd be better at it than _you_ ," Ginny said confidently, and both girls burst out laughing.

And as they did, Ginny thought about it for a second.

They had both been through so much. They had both lost everything they had ever known. And yet… in the eyes of billions of people across the world, they could be _heroes_. It would be worth it.

And as Ginny pulled Pansy into a hug, she realized- it was _already_ worth it.

* * *

 _HPFC_

 _Ultimate Writer Challenge - "Write a femslash (f/f) fic." - 1/2 complete_

 _Ultimate AU Prompathon Challenge - Occupation AU - "superhero!AU."_

 _Shay's Epic Board Game Challenge - Heroes Incorporated - "Write a superhero!AU."_

 _Hogwarts_

 _Assignment #9 - Astronomy #2 - "Write about a difference of opinion."_

 _Writing Club - Lizzy's Showtime - "36. Empty Chairs at Empty Tables - (emotion) grief."_

 _Writing Club - Amber's Count Your Buttons - "(AU) Voldemort Wins."_

 _Writing Club - Lizzy's Lyric Alley - "1. And I had a dream."_

 _Writing Club - Sophie's Shelf - "Count Olaf's Disguises ; Shirley ; (dialogue) 'It's not polite to look at a lady's legs.'"_

 _Writing Club - Emy's Emporium - "Temur Khan ; Write about someone losing everything they have."_

 _Debate Club - Canon vs. Fanon - Fanon - "Plot: an argument."_

 _Gotta Catch 'Em All - Title: "my life, my love" - Rhyhorn: "(word) sleep ; (word) surprised ; (dialogue) 'Stop complaining, will you? No one died!'"_

 _Chocolate Frog Cards Club - (Bronze) Gunhilda of Gorsemoor - "Write about someone assisting another person with an illness or an injury."_

 _Geek Pride - Movies - "Avengers: (AU) superhero."_

 _Geek Pride - Goodies - "Scarf: (word set) wrap, long, warm."_

 _The Golden Snitch_

 _Centaurus, Aurora - Through the Universe Challenge - "144. Quasi-Stellar Object - (words) a thousand miles away."_

 _Room of Requirement_

 _Pop a Balloon Challenge - Plain Blue Balloon - "(feeling) calmness."_

 _Broaden Your Romance Horizons Challenge - Favorite Pairing - "Write about a pairing you love."_

 _Wand Wood Category Challenge - Elder - "Write about a unique (non-canon) pairing (100 fics or less)."_

 _The Muse-Breaker Competition - "Write a femmeslash (f/f) fic." - 1/2 complete_


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